“If you’re gonna describe a riff to somebody…”
DJUNTS & FLAHNS
& OTHER MOUTH SHAPES
OF METAL
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There are a multitude of MOUTH SHAPES that exist all across the rock & metal landscape, many of which we’re pretty certain you’ve never heard of before in your life.
Sure, there’s the typical FLAHNS & DJUNTS. (And thanks to Pantera, there are even super djunts!).
But did you know about the muns, the buns, the duns, the luns, and the uns?
What about the waows and the baows? The dans and the dons?
The ban-nah-nahs, the dahn-nahs and the lahn-nahs?
We realize this is A LOT to process, but here’s a few “rules” to consider that might make comprehension of this lunacy a little easier:
Sometimes if it’s too fast, regardless of how heavy it is, there’s just no time for djunts.
Generally speaking, ALL clean guitar stuff (which includes anything played with a bow) is considered a flahn. (The only exception being Slayer, as their clean riffs are strangely devoid of any flahninity.)
Melodies (as a general rule) are also applicable to proper MOUTH SHAPE classification as they’re kinda riffs (but not really) and they’re also kinda solos (but not really).
Beavis & Butt-Head are the original pioneers that first brought the heavy metal mouth shape movement to mainstream awareness back in the early 1990’s.
METAL NERDERY PRESENTS: Flahns & Djunts & Other Mouth Shapes
#EXODUS: FABULOUS DISASTER
#LEDZEPPELIN: KASHMIR
#PANTERA: DOMINATION
#WHITESNAKE: STILL OF THE NIGHT
#HELMET: IN THE MEANTIME
#ZZTOP: LA GRANGE
#RUSH: TOM SAWYER
#STORMTROOPERSOFDEATH: CHROMATIC DEATH
#RIGORMORTIS: BODILY DISMEMBERMENT
#BLACKSABBATH: ELECTRIC FUNERAL
#METALLICA: …AND JUSTICE FOR ALL
#IRON MAIDEN: WASTED YEARS
#IRON MAIDEN: PROWLER
#ACDC: FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK
#PRIMUS: MY NAME IS MUD
#VANHALEN: HOT FOR TEACHER
#SLAYER: RAINING BLOOD
It’s time to grasp which kinds of holes we “don’t like talking about” and find out “why the girls don’t listen” even after our collective acknowledgement that all high quality “stripper lotion” used by “shooter girls and bottle girls” is the best because “it has glitter in it.”
Get ready to “get up in there” and have some fun, remember the meaning of “NO means NO” and JOIN US for our in-depth, investigative report regarding DJUNTS & FLAHNS & OTHER MOUTH SHAPES.
Show Notes:
(00:01): “Are we rolling?” #justhittheredbutton #dontdenythepowerof #BlackberryZombie (#fireonthemountain #RMRose) #HappyFathersDayASMR (“Could I get one…to go?”) / Diff’rent strains for diff’rent brains / The difference between creativity and in-da-couch… #indacouch / #paranoiaselfdestroyer / #Shoutout to #Shazzys / #nonamesASMR / “Wait a minute…” / “A friend slipped me some…peanut butter fudge.” Always read the note BEFORE consumption… / #peanutbutterfudge #alcoholinducedamnesia #paranoia #nobueno / “The paranoia that came with that high was not worth it” / ***WARNING: #listenerdiscretionisadvised *** / ***WELCOME BACK TO THE METAL NERDERY PODCAST WITH LOADS OF ANESTHESIA!!!*** / #olanmills #pictureday #thisepisodesbeeroftheepisode / “We’ve had beer from this brewery before…” / #RobZombieImpressionASMR / “It’s more endearing…” / #CatawbaBrewingCompany #killeralbumcover (“They’re basically the same.”) / #fuckcetera / #TheVerdict / “I won’t use the word delicious…” /
Blackberry Zombie White Ale
Beer of the Episode
“You were cool before it was cool to be cool…” / #budlightboycottASMR #parentcompanyASMR / “We can’t have that…” / “If you’re looking for gift ideas…that fits.” (#oxysuppositories for “down there” are totes apropos. / #notafanofdickholes / #catheter #pissbag / “I’m aware of what a ‘#foley’ is…”/ #movieASMR #BeverlyHillsCopASMR / #snortlaughs
(10:53): The voicemail segment…now with vocal burn…/ ***GIVE US A CALL AND LEAVE US A #VOICEMAIL at 980-666-8182!!!*** / Sidecast…or fakt Czech? (The latter) / #theReturnOfThePost #clarification / “That person was a doofus?” / ***LET US KNOW WHAT YOU WANNA HEAR FOR THE Episode 200 PARTY EPISODE!!!*** (including a voicemail from a #naturalbornbirthfemaleexclusive: “came out of the hole with a hole…” / #DarylsWhammyBar requested, perhaps some #Exodus / “riding the wave of the voice of the Paul Baloff”. / “That’s a category unto itself…” / #familyguyreference / “OH!!!“/” Gimme a minute on this…y’all talk about something interesting…”
#CirithUngol (#futureepisodeidea) / “No but it sounds awesome!” / #RussellsReflectionsASMR (“Paired?”) #bolthbolthbolthbolthbut / “The #MachoMan?” / Long story longer…with a happy(ish) ending. / “I wanna clear something up real quick…” / “I feel like the shooter girls and the stripper girls have the same perfume…for your body (it’s got glitter in it).” / “Somewhat local…#southeast #sweden #southeastsweden / “He gets all his power from his dreadlocks…” / We’ll Play Your Shit-tah…Sorcerer (proggy doom). / “Dark metal” …a local “dark metal” band confused with a Scandinavian progressive doom metal band. / A great OFF-mic burp… / #Sorcerer / Atlanta, via Stockholm / “She should be a stripper now…” / No stripper Body lotion doesn’t not have glitter in it… #stripperbodylotionASMR #progpower / WHEN DEATH CALLS (#Sorcerer #BlackSabbathCover, from Headless Cross, 1989) #TonyMartinEraSabbath #badass #progressivedoommetal #diodoomy #cokelinerating / THE HAMMER OF WITCHES (#Sorcerer)
/ “This sounds like #vikingmetal…” / #doomprog #progdoom #futureepisodeidea (“We’ve got shred!”) / This doom prog band literally has everything! / “Are shooter girls and bottle girls the same?” / #shootergirls vs #bottlegirls / “Oooh…with an I” …? / “Oooooh, you know what the “I” stands for, right?” /” This is why the girls don’t listen…” / #fetishkink #markthetime #freebie /
(28:50): The Docket: (There’s NO appeal on #TheDocket …) METAL NERDERY PRESENTS: Flahns & Djunts & Other Mouth Shapes /” There’s more to life than just #flahns & #djunts…there are “multiple mouth shapes”” / “That’s the name of our new band.” / #multiplemouthshapesASMR / “There’s some #duns and #muns and #buns…and #waows” (i.e., Electric Funeral) / “Baw…” #turnitoff (“Is that a #baw?”) / “To all you #darrellwhammybars… “/ #EXODUS: FABULOUS DISASTER (Right now there’s #djunts & #flahns…a mix of #bolth). NOTE: Flahns seem to be absorbing most of the hatred & attitude. / “That’s a ban-nan-nah…”/ “A good definition of a #perfectflahn…with all #djunts right in the middle.” #LEDZEPPELIN: KASHMIR / (“Get up in there…”) / “It’s a flahn-djunt…a hybrid.” #cantbeloudenough / “Ironically, this is from side one of Led Zeppelin IV” … / “It’s uhns and flahns…or fluhns…it’s flahn-nuhns…some flahn-djunt hybrids. / #NO
Just say “NO!” / “Its all #djunts…” / The perfect example of djunts, courtesy of WJNT radio: #PANTERA: DOMINATION (#superdjunts) / #amazingstereovocaldjuntlery / “Is the solo part just a high pitched flahn?” ***(Melodies kinda get a pass because they’re kinda riffs but not really, and they’re kinda solos but not really…”) *** / “That’s considered #darkweb …” / #NO!!! / “That was pure radio magic right there…”/ #WHITESNAKE: STILL OF THE NIGHT / “The beginning IS #djunts…” / “Those are #duns right there…” / “Those are all #flahns…bows create #flahns…” / “D-O-DOUBLE-G…” / “It’s amazing… / “That’s just djunts all day long…” / #djuntposterchild / “A #dun or a #flahn?” / “There’s #djuntsattheend for sure…” / #HELMET: IN THE MEANTIME / “Those are #dahns and #djunts…”
(42:03): “Just write it off…with your #stripperlotion” / “A good example…” / #ZZTOP: LA GRANGE (“It’s #flahns until the distortion kicks in…”). #Flahns and #dahns…/ “Yeah, it’s all #duhns.”
/ #justbeingdifficult #LMAOASMR (“I gotta pee”) / NOOOOOOO!!! / “What do you guys think about this one?” / #RUSH: TOM SAWYER (“I think they’re ‘#duhns’…is that a #bahn?”) / “I might come across this table…” #markthetime / “I’ve tears in me eyes…” / “It’s #flahns at the beginning and #alldjuntsafter” #STORMTROOPERSOFDEATH: CHROMATIC DEATH (#nahnahs) / #RIGORMORTIS: BODILY DISMEMBERMENT (“I don’t think there’s any #djunts in Rigor Mortis”) / (“If it’s that fast, there’s no time for #djunts…”) / #stringinstrumental / “No #djigs or #djunts…just #flahns… #flahnahnah (“I hear the #nah, the #buh, or the #duh…”) / #recordscratch #fulldisclosure / #FYI: we are not on anything other than our regularly scheduled (and yet wildly ironically, #unscheduled) U.S.D.A. recommended daily allowance of relaxers. / #BLACKSABBATH: ELECTRIC FUNERAL (“#Wahs…”), “#Waws and #duhns” / “Is it safe to say that all clean stuff is #flahns?” / “#Flahns at the beginning…and #djuntslater / “Stop it with your #flahns…” / “A perfect example of #flahns and #djunts, living in harmony.” / #METALLICA: …AND JUSTICE FOR ALL / “Bahn-nah-nah-nah…” / “No doubt… #tonsfdjunts” / HAILS to Metallica for incorporating all the mouth shapes. / #mouthshapeASMR #seriously
(56:09): #KORN: PREDICTABLE (“Is that #djuntsorduns?” “It might be a new category…”) “I think it’s #bahnsandduns.” / “We know for a fact that Slayer’s got djunts everywhere…”/ “Does Slayer have any #flahns?” / #SLAYER: EPIDEMIC (“#duns & #luns…”) / #IRON MAIDEN: NUMBER OF THE BEAST (“That’s #donsnotdjunts…”) / “It’s #dunsanddjunts…no, they’re duns.” / “I’ve gotta side with Russell…” / #IRON MAIDEN: WASTED YEARS (“That single note melody is kind of a #flahn…”) / #LightDjunts… #BeavisImpressionASMR / “As opposed to this one…” / #IRON MAIDEN: PROWLER (“It’s got the #waws in there for sure…is it #bahnnahnahs?” / #bananas (“Is it bahns and duns…?”) / #JustSayNOOOOOOO
(1:02:14): #ACDC: FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK (“The beginning feels a little #flahnish”) / “I hear the #flahns…” / “It’s #dahns…” / “Just a sample…” / #noscent #StretchArmstrong…” / #PRIMUS: MY NAME IS MUD (#bawbaw, or #bdawbdaw?) / “We’ve almost covered all the #mouthshapes…” / “Very #aggressiveflahns …” / #VANHALEN: HOT FOR TEACHER / “The drums automatically default to #duns…”
“It might be #flahnnahnahs” / “Those are #dahnnahs” / “We are NOT doing Hanson.” / #tellmewhy / “I hope we don’t lose ALL of our subscribers…”
(1:08:08): #newfavoritething / #BucketsTheDrummer ***Go check it out on #YouTube*** #showercurtainASMR / Our new favorite thing: Buckets The Drummer…lots of duhns…for sure. / “I’m running out of boner…WTF?”/ “I’ve never been so turned on…” / #Shoutout to Buckets The Drummer (“That’s why…”) / #ilovetheinternet #ablaughtertherapy / “It was productive…we’ve learned some things.” / “Let’s do a NO on 3…” / #NOASMR / “One last good #closeoutdjunt…” / #SLAYER: RAINING BLOOD (“It’s got #djuntsforsure…”) / “I think it’s the #dahnnahs…” / “Those are #lahnnahs…” / ***THANK YOU FOR JOINING US FOR THIS EPISODE OF PURE UNADULTERATED UNFILTERED AND UNSHAVED HILARITY!!!*** / #thelastword / “We’re gonna give it to The Ghost of the Bunkerpoon…” / #metalnerderygiftshoppe ***GO PURCHASE YOUR MERCH AT THE #bunkerpoongiftshoppe located at metalnerdery.com/merch ) / #outroreel / #billsmegamix / #NO!